honestly..
i don't know what to feel. there are three people bothering my thoughts at the moment.. and when i think about my concerns in each one of them, i end up saying.. "i just don't care anymore."
and at the moment.. i want to feel something intense. something unforgettable. something out-of-control. i'm getting weaker for i was used being fed up with hate and anger. i want to seek revenge. the desire to kill circulates throughout myself. i feel that i would want to stab someone in the chest and watch that person die and take his/her last breathe in front of me..
i wonder what would i feel.
would i be afraid after stabbing somebody?
would i be sad, for seeing how pitiful that creature is?
would i be glad, for the revenge i've been seeking has finally come to my hands?
one thing's for sure.. i'll never be contented.
i may forget everything that those people had said.. or even the things that they've done to me.. but i will never forget how they made me feel. and good thing, i felt some anger and hatred. enough to keep me going.
this is me. whether you like it or hate it.. i don't care. worst of me hasn't come out yet.. behind these eyes that portray a different persona is a man full of anger, guilt and hatred strengthened by broken trust and false hopes. revenge will be mine in time.Labels: life, realization, self