"If you want to be successful, try setting your priority first."
a line i've said to myself few times before. and yet, i've been saying it till now whenever i feel disappointed for myself. the career path i've chosen is common but requires a lot from me. and sometimes i wonder, "what if i never chosen this?", "what if i took up Music or Fine Arts?", "what if i took up photography?".
and i always end up with, "i started doing this profession, i've placed so much resources on this. i have no other choice but to continue"
i find it really hard to be happy with the path i've chosen. yet i enjoy the passion it requires. i'm starting to realize that i'm not that too hard like a rock. and a little show of empathy proves that. they've said that you'll never get tired with anything you love to do. but, why do i feel tired with this? they said, resting is different from quitting. but hey, i don't like what i'm doing, should i then quit?
as far as i can remember, i've chosen this path because i want to challenge myself and explore my limitations as a human. i've wanted to prove to others that i can do what i want to do and be proud of what i can achieve. but it seems that achievement in this profession is blocked by "no vacancies" and "back-up" systems, and irritates me so much.
i can see some of my friends loving their work. flight attendant, pre-school teacher, psychologist, programmer, instructor, model, photographer. how come i never felt such happiness with my profession? i wanted to be like them.
now, i started opening my eyes that the acknowledgement i want for myself cannot be easily achieved in this path, and yet, i'm already on a point where there's no turning back. what should i do then? i'm totally confused.
wish everything would go in plan as i wanted it to be. be hired in the institution i wanted to be, take a post-graduated course in their affiliate school, achieved the highest position a nurse could possibly get, provide comfort for myself and family, solving personal issues, and at the same time, being different with the millions of nurses all over the globe by the age of 23.
i know its hard. but still, its possible.Labels: life, realization, self
