fvck. i'm getting crazy. and i need to release everything that's on my head before i take myself to a mental institution and lock myself in.
1. i'm afraid of crazy people. i dunno how the hell i survived psychiatric nursing and the test 5 of the licensure exam but i don't want myself being near to mentally insane. i'm too susceptible to insanity and i'm afraid that i would be infected. >:))
2. i'm afraid of psychiatrist and doctors dealing with crazy people. i find it uncomfortable talking to them. they're like passing through my eyes and read my mind. after the conversation, i feel like they've known my every single thought.
(those two where established after watching shutter's island starring Leonardo di Caprio)
3. i'm hungry right now. i'm eating half-way through the pack of tasty bread. i wanted to be full.
4. i want to eat spaghetti. i want it immediately. the one i prepared for myself. i wanted to be full.
5. Reader's Digest said that if you're eating a lot of carbs such as bread, rice, and pasta, you're feeling empty so you wanted to be full. i'm not feeling empty. i know i'm not. is my subconscious telling me the opposite?
6. i wanted to eat sundaes, ice cream, fried chicken, pasta right now. (birthday party?!)
7. i think i'm gonna puke.
8. i'm thinking of any possible reason why that person sleeping right now had chosen to love someone like me.
9. am i giving enough reason to make the love last?
10. am i giving enough reason to make the love stop?
11. i feel guilty for some unknown reason. am i being unfaithful?! am i being immature?! too selfish?! yet i haven't done anything yet. subconscious again?!
12. last night, i dreamed of willie revillame. (stupid much, i know). he has another program daw on TV5. ignored.
13. this is the second night in my life that i'd be wearing a boxer shorts to sleep.
14. i noticed that i'm down on last 5 bread slices.
15. i dreamed that i was lost in a hotel building. been running on the elevators and hallways. i even remember knocking on Rooms 23, 24 (located on the second floor) and 42 (on the fourth floor). then i remember, my room was room 33. what does it mean?! hmmm..
16.i'll be starting my professional duty tomorrow on pedia unit (the one where i learned a lot but made me exhausted every shift.) should i stay, or should i go?!
17. i have a song for machi. Magbalik by Callalily.
18. i had pimples and their rapidly multiplying. i cant find any new activities that could explain why. normally, i sleep late. sigh. screw you pimples! >:((
19. all of these are running on my head all at the same time. can't blame me.
20. i need to sleep now before my father ask me to prepare breakfast. buenos dias amigos!
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