i was rushing things.i was getting desperate.
i wanted to achieve every goal i have at this age.
i'm getting old. i am old.
i want to earn for myself. i want to save. i'll work hard. work so hard. i don't care if i get sick. i'll earn. i'll earn a lot. i'll earn big. i want to establish those plans to develop me. i want to be satisfied with the way i look, the way i feel, the way i carry myself. i want to be confident. i want to celebrate life with my friends and love ones. i want to live to the fullest.
in time, i'll get tired feeding my ego and start thinking about family. my main family and my future family. i'll start working for them. i'll save for them. give them better life. give them better future. better than what i could give for myself.
but the dilemma is..
i don't think i have the enough time for me to live long enough to see my grand kids.
i feel that i won't be able to reach 30 years of my life. giving me only 9 years left to fulfill what i planned for myself and for my future family.
and the slow phasing in my career hinders me to live my utmost potential.
Lord, help me.