"I was stabbed for more than three times creating more than three lacerations. Those deep open wounds were bloodless and at the same time.. painless."
It was my second nightmare that I had in less than three months. Such dreams are becoming a trend and I do believe that my subconscious forewarns me of something perceivable which I failed to notice.
It felt that those superficial injuries were bearable and painless as I ran away from those who made it. It's either because of what I've been through that I could easily endure any damage or any pain they had done to me or.. I've been used to running away as my main plan for escape.
"I've met different people, people from the past, and people from my future. And I remember that one moment when we cuddled in the car and stared at each others eyes with those phony smiles, I said to myself.. yes.. this must be it.."
It still fascinates me on how such character entered my dreamland. And the feeling of genuine happiness was so real that it could make a stone giggle. I was able to ease my wounds with the feeling. But. It never lasted. For I realized that I made a wrong choice. I choose to be on the wrong place with the wrong person. We weren't meant to be. Still wounded, I packed my stuffs and left as fast as I can.
And now that I am awake, I am open. Ready for that feeling who once fooled me in a dream. I am prepared for anyone. Whether they'll cause me pain, hatred or bitterness. I'm prepared to face anything. And I won't run. I won't rant. I won't whine. I'll enjoy the juiciest pain that there is and feed the inner masochist living inside me.
I'll be open and I'll choose the right people. I'll stop investing my emotions and thoughts to those who can't handle my worst. those who isn't worth it. And from now on, unworthy butt-heads from my past will never hear or feel anything coming from me.
And I won't let anyone bring me down. I will not let anyone make me feel inferior. I will invest all my trust to my own greatness than listen and be affected by those bricks thrown towards me by insignificant people.
I'll be Strong. Stronger. A Fighter with a Heart.
Labels: dreams, life, realization, relationship, self
