So much happened these past few weeks that I almost gave up and just let all the things happen. Just lay down and watch things as they pass through my hand. I was ready for defeat. I got tired of struggling and fighting. I've let myself down and tried doing things I know that isn't right but I feel like doing. I'm messing up my life. And slapping my face would never wake me up and would never take me back to that oriented, achiever guy I once became.
Then upon suggestion, I decided to read a book entitled The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. It's about a guy who dropped out because of his lack of interest. He tried to do what he wanted to do at the moment and ends up being disappointed after a while because it wasn't able to fill his content.
Anyway, on the last part of the book was his conversation with his previous professor. His professor's advice were so strong that it felt like it was told directly to me;
"This fall I think you're riding for -- it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel of hear himself hit bottom. The whole arrangement's designed for men, who at some time or other in their lives , were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they really even got started.."
"..I think one of these days, you're going to have to find out where you want to go.. and then you've got to start going there."Labels: book, current issues, life, realization, self
