I do believe that there's something most people see in me that I do not see in myself. And sometimes when I look in the mirror, there's this different guy I see that I don't think other people have seen. As a result, any compliments given by others that the guy on the mirror isn't portraying are considered baseless and therefore ignored.
Maybe that's the other reason why I can't be easily swayed with compliments. I'm deaf when it comes to admiration and flattering remarks. And those people who kept on praising and noticing me are just too kind. I'm thankful but I refute them politely. Too polite actually that humbling myself too much seems to be getting more sarcastic that it becomes more of a joke. Yet destructive words and ugly criticisms could still make some punch in the gut.
Ironic, that my ego resists words that build myself yet accepts words that destroy my character. I listen more to those who kept bringing me down than those who's raising me up. I use spiteful words to fuel me to soar high yet ends up injured and broken upon reaching the top.
The Fragment King do loves Irony.Labels: realization, self