Trips to theme parks make me ecstatic and apathetic both at the same time. Such scenery of kids running around, wailing, the excitement of others filling the air and those who scream their throats out are not the kind of things I'd linger on.
But this last trip in one of the metro's cheapest amusement park swept me off my feet. A ride they called as Star Frisbee almost pulled my stomach out of my mouth. Unlike others who scream and curse when fear was felt (especially on those moments of free fall), I just merely shut my eyes tight and have my strongest grip on the safety metal buckles placed tight to my groin.
 |
| Just like this. |
Though the spinning was tolerable, it was the free fall that made me sick. Once the ride ended, I was like sweating out, hands cold and clammy, struggling to remain my upright balance as I tried to escaped that ride from hell. I looked like shit as if I got drunk on a bar finding my way out.
The idea and the feeling of falling without the promise of something or someone to catch me, scared me so bad (both literally and figuratively).
Though I could tolerate one or two free falls, I almost died waiting for such feeling to stop. I want to end it right there and then. But just as like other rides, they take away your power of control over the things that affects your body no matter how shitty you already feel.
And that's my weakness. Once I lose control, I stumble. I'm like a blind guy palpating the grounds for lost eyeglasses. I got used with the sense of control I have over myself. Call me a control-freak if you may. I don't want to be controlled by anything or anyone and submit me in a shitty feeling I never signed up for.
No wonder why I remain single. Seldom do people be right enough to submit myself into.
But honestly speaking, I felt different after experiencing such torment. I was like a new person with courage multiplied by hundred times than what I had. I was fearless; knowing that whatever comes, I will conquer.
I guess self-renewal, indeed, starts once you've let yourself be broken and crushed.
No wonder why I remain single. Seldom do people be right enough to submit myself into.
But honestly speaking, I felt different after experiencing such torment. I was like a new person with courage multiplied by hundred times than what I had. I was fearless; knowing that whatever comes, I will conquer.
I guess self-renewal, indeed, starts once you've let yourself be broken and crushed.