Sitting on the waiting shed, beside the empty highway of some road towards the south was a lady with hair dark as the night. Whose skin so white and without flaw. With beautiful eyes piercing through. Almost perfect entity. But with tears falling on her cheeks.
"I was just waiting for the right moment." She said. "For the enough reason. For the courage to leave the one person I love. Or least, I thought I loved."
I just sat on the opposite side of the empty bench feeling her presence while she sob quietly on the other side.
"I wake up every morning thinking about him. Go through the day wondering what he's doing. Though I am busy with work, I know he's still on the back of my mind."
"But I know something was wrong. The way he texts me or whatsoever. I find his words, his 'I love you's empty. His touch, cold. The way he looks at me, was nothing."
I sat there, listening. Wondering how such beautiful creature, who's almost perfect suffers such kind of neglect.
"And most of the time, when I came late night from work, I find the house empty. Least I know, he dozed off even far before I even arrived home. In the morning, he goes to work without informing me. Just making empty short calls informing me he's now somewhere I didn't even know. I never needed such."
"What do you need then?" I asked.
"I want someone who's afraid to lose me. Someone who really.. Loves me"
I shut my mouth as her tears flow harder. The headlights of the passing cars gives her rosy cheeks some glow. I sat there savouring her words. "who's afraid to lose me.."
"He wants me. Bdut I don't think he loves me. He needs me for some other reasons.."
As if she read my mind. She answered back.
"I am emotionally and sexually abused by the man I love."
She looked to my direction, shoots through my eyes despite the darkness between us. I've felt her pain. Every ounce of it. And my heart shrinked. Crumbled. Shattered. I felt tears on my eyes.
I broke our connection and looked away. Hoping that my nasolacrimal duct do its purpose of saving every man from humiliated ego by crying in public.
"He only needs me for sex and pleasure. But I don't want to say that I'm not enjoying it. Especially, when I see his desire as he pound on me. While I bear the pain no matter how agonizing it is. But I still bear it for that's the only time he says his love to me. The only time I feel his desire. Once he reaches his release, he leaves me on the floor disgusted with myself."
"I even caught him looking at other women, entertaining them. Flirts with them. Disregarding my existence."
"Then why are you staying?!" The sound of anger echoes in my voice.
"I was looking for the right reason. When I already had enough. And tonight, I had what I'm looking for. He caused me so much pain. Too unbearable it made me physically and emotionally broken."
"And the tears? Is that why you're crying?" I said with empathy.
"I cry because I'm about to lose something I've given importance. I cry for the time I've wasted. I cry for myself for the freedom. These tears are tears of self-pity and joy."
And for the first time, she looked at me with her smile on her face. And I feel warm inside. The guilt I didn't knew exist slowly evaporates in her smile. And I shed a tear for her.
I raised my left hand toward her, as she do the same. I feel a little electricity between us. Like a synapse. Where an impulse passes through between the space of our fingers. And the tip of my middle finger touches hers as a van passes through in front of us.
And in a single flash of light we..Labels: original, poetry, relationship, self