Lost

Weird. To be on a place where nature manifests its beauty across the vast mountains and majestic rock formations; where the sea glows blue and crystal clear beneath ; where the wind blows the clouds shading the fire breathed above, I am back on the land where the first and last memory of me being emotionally and physically dependent with the man who gave me life took place.

That after almost two decades, I once again set foot on the island that gave me a memory imprinted on my toddler brain forever.

And now, I am back. And I still feel the same but no longer dependent on the same man. I've grown enough and learned to stand on my own feet. Fight and win every battles. Heal myself in defeat. I have learned to reserve my thoughts and feelings to myself. Without inviting others to come in. I've found my strength and weakness in solitude. I found my comfort and shield from within.

But weird. 

I feel alone in paradise.

To someone. I am still that dependent kid.