It kills me. To know that you're hurting because of me. That you're hiding behind the shadows of smiles and laughters. That you rather be apathetic upon hearing my voice. As if you're voided by my attempted display of fake happiness.
It kills me. That you'd rather not look at me. That you were avoiding my stares. And I can't help but stare at you and your new cut hair. If only you knew how beautiful you are right now.
It kills me. That I care about you now. For normally, I never cared for anyone.
It kills me. That I have unconsciously offended your heart and your ego. That I let that obnoxious self-declared life-genius alter-ego preach something that you (or even I) think, I am ignorant of.
It kills me. To let go of some things soon I know I'll regret. And I will never escape the scrutiny of the spectators around us.
But I will carry all the burden of the blame of some things I am partially acquainted for. Just this time. Just for you.
Now let go. And find someone who can love you back the way you wanted me to. For I am cursed living this lifetime in singlehood for all the things I've done in my past.
Cut it out. Let it go.
Labels: heart, letting go, life, relationships