Culpa

I always tell to some that, past is past. There's a reason why people stayed on it and never been a part of our present. So we need to move on and continue living. Never eat what you have puked.

But among all the advices I made, this one, I think, is the hardest for me to follow. 

Because of you.

In the past, I saw our future. But I am constrained and you let me feel to be just your present. You see a better future. I know. A future so big, I never saw myself in it. So I tried to live and learned to move on. Bearing in mind, that I do not deserve such. Because in reality, you do not deserve me. Because for you, I wasn't enough.

I tried to forget. And I was even able to forgive. I think. 

But you, trying to remind me of your existence. You reaching out, pokes, likes, frequent random messages. All the things I tried to forget are slowly unboxed from the dark room hidden in my thoughts. And the forgiveness I thought I have given, now seemed imaginary. Knowing the you never needed one. For I like you. And the forgiveness for the pain you've caused in the past was already implied and unnecessary.

And now I ask myself. Was it me to blame for losing grip to something I presently regret? Or was it you who never gave me something to hold on to?