I'm choking. As if I am strangulated by the same hands that comforted me at night. My hands. I am persistently muted by force of my own will to not express what needs to be expressed. For such thoughts could explode; affecting, killing, blasting people away in the radius reached by my grip.
And the people who cared for me (and I recently started caring for) would get hurt and rather leave. And these thoughts that burdens me could put me back on the dark cell behind the cold bars of my hidden prison once released.
That I rather choke. Of my own silence. Just for people not to leave me again.
I dont want to be left alone again..
I dont want to hurt people again..
I dont want to give any fuck again.
I don't want to care anymore again.
I can't breathe.
Labels: life, self