So here's the thing. You try to live your life the way you want to. Do what makes you happy, the party, promiscuity, the fame; using your looks, charisma and the charm, everything is handed to you easily. You try to get anything you want because you can.
But once everything got fucked up, and you know in yourself that you messed up and you reach the point of "too much", you start escaping the reality and seek the comfort of anonimity. You run away from people and things. Plunge yourself in the demented euphoria of drugs, alcohol and sex. You start a fake new life.
But you'd still keep on coming back to your previous life, making the element of "change" as a weapon to deal what you've left behind and terminate the ghosts of your past.
Then you start the whole cycle again of fucking up- running away- change. Until the coccaine isn't longer enough. Until the party isnt fun enough. Until you realize that all the kisses and hugs are empty. Then you'd feel that you too are consumed inside. Lifeless. Has already given up with the whole set up.
And for all the complications, all you want is someone who, despite of your mistakes, will make you realize that you're not the sum total of the failures you had in the past. Someone who'd always be there along the way. To catch you when you stumble. To raise you when you fall.
Someone who, at least, be the right amongst the wrongs.
We all want that. I do.
Labels: heart, life, relationship