How can you forget someone who used to mean so much? I always asked myself such ever since. Considering the few number of people who touched my heart. I even wonder why I let an asshole see through me. Or why I even let a whore-scumbag-lying pig affected me. I'm not the "hating" kind. A little bitter but not hating. Such emotion musn't be kept by someone whose heart resonates fragility on a single tap caused by a drop of tear. But what can I do to close the door left open by an ugly past?
Someone told me that in order to move on, you need closure. But that seemed impossible on my part because of the hanging questions rather left unanswered by someone who denied me the truth.
Yes there are still few moments when I lay myself on the comfort of my bed that I started to realize what happened. What could have been and why did it all happen.
And I thought, unreciprocated affection, though not the primary, was only one of the reason why it didn't workout. What had happened was a warning shot. That it was the other person's inability to find contentment that must be brought forward. If such was already written on one's bone and flows through one's blood; then no one, not even me, could settle a husting heart. That we may pass that one through but problems of loyalty and trust would re-surface in the future.
In the end, maybe the "closure" that I was looking for was already in me. To know that I deserve something better. To choose happiness and not let unnecessary stressors ruin my life. To let go of the things not meant to be. To let those culprit who were guilty of misconduct in love such as cheating and dishonesty must be let go alone and let them rot in their own pool of karma.
Not that I'm bragging, but I dont think it was my loss afterall. Come to think of it, I have been through all of this even before, and I never lost hope of being and getting better than I was.
And I'm still not giving up on love either.
Labels: heart, letting go, love, relationship, self