Stuttering: Lapse

If you're able to read this then I'm sure you're on the moment where you want to learn something to make your heart still. And this, as far as what I've remembered, came at the right time.

If my guess is right, you are/might/could be on the verge of breaking down from the circumstances you've been through, the anxiety due to upcoming changes, the paradigm shifts and the acceptance of roles.

Your heart blends black and red. And the pain you feel already makes you numb. Like a boy stabbed, dying of hypovelemia yet you feel no pain on the punctured site.

And I know there are no words that could comfort you now. And how I wish I could send you my hugs right away. But all I can do is to let you feel everything and hope that you'll never let your soul die inside as what I did in the past. Remember that those are just temporary feelings, just like those temporary people who made you feel that way. That those are just temporary fears that you'd soon overcome once you've gain the courage to pass that all through. That you're not lost but only with clouded visions brought by the tears in your eyes.

I'm not saying that you disregard whatever you're feeling right now. Those are real. But that doesn't mean they're permanent. Yes, they'll last long. But not long enough to prevent you from kicking back up and regain the phase you have in your life.

If only I could bring you here. So that you'd realize how beautiful your life would have been. How things in the past made sense for this future. The struggle, the hardwork, the perseverance to continue despite the dirt and the mud dragging you down was worth it.

But for now, do me a favor. Do not give up. I am letting you succumb into your own sadness and drown in your own misery knowing that there's no one else can help you right now, but when that day comes when you felt like you've missed the warmth of laughter and the sweetness of smiles and happiness, grab that chance and free yourself from the despair you've let yourself into you.

Do not be easily swayed or affected. Stay strong. Life is just a maze waiting to decipehered. Everything will be fine soon. I promise. Believe me. Believe in yourself.